funny verse

The island Packet – July 9, 2017

The trial will follow them for six years to see which group – the moderate drinkers or the abstainers – has more heart attacks, strokes and deaths.

While they pour over data to get at the facts,
I’ll pour a martini and try to relax.


The Wall Street Journal – July 7, 2017

Many big brands didn’t move fast enough to remove artificial ingredients and haven’t been able to shed the negative perception of processed food, said several food executives and others close to the industry.

Boxed Mac’n Cheese; into the shredder.
Now; organic pasta and aged cheddar.


The Wall Street Journal – June 2, 2017

For more than a decade now, well past the lifespan allotted most trends, skinny jeans have dominated denim sales … Women are rediscovering the more authentic joys of 100% cotton denim.

What’s NOT a “stretch” is that fashions knows,
When to beat the drum for a change of clothes.


CNN -July 3, 2017

The majority of American (seven in ten) say that the level of civility in Washington has declined since Donald Trump was elected President of the United States, a new NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll finds.

“Civil” is the root of “civilization,
A reminder for our nation.


BBC -June 23, 2017

A New Yorker has beat his own Guinness World Record for the farthest distance walked balancing a powered lawnmower on the chin.

We need to honor these obscure talents,
To keep the dystopian world in balance.