Become A Food Critic

Imagine being paid to eat a fabulous meal at one of the world’s finest restaurants, and all you have to do in return is give your opinion about it. (read full story here)

Some days I’d gladly pay to skewer
That brazen brand of food reviewer
Scribbling for uppity magazines
Flogging the newest nouvelle cuisines.
Ladling out unending praises
Purple prepositional phrases
Offered up in a florid version
Of an adjectival perversion.
Flickers of truffles, twiglets of veal
Cucumber ruffles, lashings of eel.
Drooling of custard, quiver of quail
Puddles of mustard, snipets of snail.
Petals of pate, tuffets of rice
Lattice of sate, splendor of spice.
What punishment fits this haughty band
For cooking up verbal contraband?
While chatting-up their wheys and curds
I’d simply have them eat their words!

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Madeleine Begun Kane

Delightfully witty! Dare I say delicious?


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