funny poem about toilets

Time Magazine –  August 23, 2017

A recent found more than 17,000 bacterial gene copies on the phones of high school students. Scientists at the University of Arizona have found that cell phones carry 10 times morbacteria than most toilet seats.

Here’s some news designed to shock us
About the deadly staphylococcus
Lurking on the each phone display
Prepared to steal our health away.
The Feds, those stealthy smart phone stalkers
Will find we all are dirty talkers!


BBC News – September 14, 2016

The Guggenheim said the piece is “ultimately reminding us of the inescapable physical realities of our shared humanity”.

May a “Royal Flush” be yours alone,
When sitting on this golden throne.



The world’s recorded joke has been traced back 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humor was as popular with the Sumerians as it is today.

So what made them laugh right from the start?
Believe it not, an embarassing FART.

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March 19, 2016

This interesting speculation:
Was he texting, or taking DIC-tation?

*I actually saw this, and related the incident to my friend Paul who wrote the verse.


NPR – January 6, 2015

The legal saga of the monkey selfie continues: On Wednesday, a federal judge said the macaque who famously snapped a picture of himself cannot be declared the owner of the image’s copyright.At least, until Congress says otherwise.

Finally an answer to this legal quiz.
Such refreshingly silly monkey biz.